Sweet Slumber

So I have been having recurrent dreams about my x husband for well over 4 years now. It seems as though they started the day I was dismissed from his house. They come and go, but when they come, it is abundant. Sometimes they have his new wife in there, sometimes it's just him. Either way, there is still a great feeling of care wrapped around it and I feel welcome. Here lately, though, the wife has been no where around. He has either been all alone or with his daughter. The last 4 dreams were of his acceptance of me and pursuing to get back together with me. These dreams are lovely. Dreams that I do not want to wake up from. Yet they are dreams that leave me numb and bewildered. I usually don't speak after these dreams for my mind is still trapped in the solitude of him and I and never wanting to escape it. Which leaves me to one lingering question....Am I not over him like I thought I was? If not, how long will this grieving actually last? This is what I have learned on grieving...that there are several steps which are not linear; they cycle back and forth and you can stay in a couple of phases at the same time which can make up for a lot of craziness. Initially, the first is denial, next comes in the anger, ambivalence, depression, and last, the sense of quietness. I do know that I have shifted from all of these several times through the course of 4 1/2 years. Did you read that? FOUR AND A HALF YEARS!!!! To this, I am baffled, although it did take me approximately 7 years to "get over" my first divorce, although this one is much more debilitating to me. So just as I promised to ramble about random subjects, there it is. Am I acknowledging that I have gone bonkers and am weak and cannot let go of the past, therefore I need intensive therapy and close surveillance? No. This is a normal process. For some, it takes longer than the others and I just happen to be one of some. This too shall pass, but in the meantime....sweet dreams. :)

Until next time....

Attitude Adjustment

Change the way you think. Science clearly proves that our actions, the way we think about ourselves and others, and most everything we do is provoked by our subconscious. The subconscious mind lies outside your conscious mind. It has access to data information, and ideas outside your own experience. Your subconscious mind works 24 hours a day and it is the source of all examples of pure creativity, problem solving, and goal achievement. It is a magical part of your mind; the part of your mind where genius lies. If we tell ourselves we can do anything, we’re probably right. If we tell ourselves we can’t do anything, we are probably right. How do you think of yourself? Do you tell yourself that you’ve been through so much through this crazy life that there is no reason you can be anything you want? Little do you know, that is what your subconscious is thriving on. It’s all a matter of conditioning. You can train your mind to think positive thoughts the same way you can learn anything else. The way to do this is to remove any negative thoughts one at a time until there are none left. And for each negative thought that you remove, you then plant a new and positive thought in its place. You then nurture those positive thoughts until there is no room for any negative thoughts to grow. Then, make a habit of stopping a negative thought any time it appears and replacing it with a positive thought. For example, replace “I can’t do it” with “I can do it” and you’ll find your attitude and your life will greatly improve. Positive thoughts will lead you to success and it will help you find the true riches of life for yourself and your family. So whatever it is in life that you want, you must begin today to become a “positive thinker.” Once you do this, your future success will be unlimited.  I myself have heard many people tell me that I would amount to nothing and that my attitude with myself and others would get me no where in life. I’ve heard so much name calling, disappointment, and purely hateful words. After a while, the bad things become easier to believe and the good, well they are unimaginable. Therefore, conditioning the mind and self therapy is very understandable. Think of it as this; you fall and hurt your knee. The doctor suggests physical therapy to get back up and running again. It works the same way with the human mind. You get hurt, whether it is from another person or the things you lead yourself to believe. The initial suggestion would be to do conditioning and mental therapy to get you back up and running again. Positive thinking is good for the mind, body and soul. Change your attitude!


Until next time....